The following is a conversation between Paul and Raj
which occurred today, May 15th
Paul: It seems so clear when Susan is talking about it, but is the issue of special relationships the issue? The one thing that’s holding me up? Is “what other people think” my Achilles heel? And is it inevitable that that’s what will prevail if I’m claiming independence—not being joined with you all the time?
Raj: That is correct, Paul. How can it be any other way? Being joined with me intermittently was the way it had to be in the beginning, because you were just getting used to the oddity of speaking with someone who was not only not physically present, but who was Awake as well . . . having the specific Function of promoting your Awakening—the task of every Awakened member of the Brotherhood . . .
. . . and you caught it! Yes, Awakening means immediately “joining the ranks” of those whose dreaming Brothers and Sisters have become their “charge” . . . the ranks of those whose Function is identical with the Holy Spirit . . . to restore to their right Mind, those who are still sleeping and dreaming dreams. And this is your difficulty.
In the process of becoming disillusioned one finds (as you are reluctantly learning) that Love is a Gift, and It is voluntary, but It is not optional. And this absolutely challenges your concept of the meaning of “voluntary!” How can that which must be voluntary in order to be a Gift, not be optional and still be a Gift? And the answer is, in the same way that just as you have been given “free will” for one purpose only . . . to use it . . . its only right use is to choose not to use it!
Let’s be very clear here. Your difficulty lies in your unwillingness to let go of the obvious goodness which is embodied in your actions, making plain to everyone who can see, that you deserve credit for it, and you are beginning to realize that it is the option not to make the Gift, but making it anyway, which makes the “giving” of the Gift seem meaningful, significant, and . . . thereby . . . you as well. You can clearly see that in the process of disillusionment and inherent in Awakening, you must abandon “being lov-ing,” you must abandon that which becomes meaningful because you didn’t have to do it!
“Being lov-ing,” is the singularly most powerful technique of manipulation in the special relationship . . . greater even than withholding love, and greater than the threat of harm. It is more abusive than the others because it is disguised in sweetness, thoughtfulness, and the skillful stroking of the egos of the ones so “loved.”
The problem is not that you are mean-spirited, malicious, or generally deceptive—at least you haven’t been until you began to feel that giving voice to the Voice for Truth was no longer going to be an option—but as the apparent demand has become obnoxiously unyielding, as the “optional” nature of what we’re doing has inexorably dwindled away, you have become frustrated, irritated and resentful at the loss of the “relief” from having to “give voice” to It . . . which means that you still have not recognized that the absence of an option to “do it” or “not do it” is reducing what we do together to the “unspecial,” even though you have felt it and not liked it.
In the Atonement, everyone is going to have to realize that Meaning is not special! Being Meaningful is not special. “Special” requires that something be in short supply, and special relationships are dances engaged in by two or more where “options” are employed, where giving and withholding what is in limited supply is carried out in fluid and unexpected ways to achieve desired outcomes—outcomes which are always to the advantage of the one employing the options . . . while taking advantage of the unsuspecting recipients of the artful lov-ing-kindness which is giving and withholding.
The lesson here is that Meaning and being Meaningful, are simply the experience of Being when independence is abandoned. But in the “realm” of special relationships the loss of independence means a state of dependence, of subjugation to something not “you”—the loss of freedom. But in actuality, the loss of independence is the experience of being Whole. Wholeness is the ever-present omnipresent state of Mind when one is in his right Mind, and neither independence nor dependence is anywhere to be found.
It is not an attractive proposition to the mind conditioned to independence to let experience and ideas occur which are not the result of imagination, thinking, memory and logic arising from the data of the five physical senses. But there is a reason for the word “revelation,” and the reason is that revelation occurs. And it occurs spontaneously when one enters into the holy instant, becomes still, and reaches beyond imagination, thinking, memory and logic. It also occurs without interruption, because that’s what happens when one is in his right Mind.
The question is, are you willing to Listen without interruption? Are you willing to let that mind be in you which is also in me . . . and in every Son and Daughter of God? Are you willing to discover that such is not a state of dependence, of subjugation, of domination, even though we have to speak of it as yielding to the Father’s Will?
The fourth obstacle to peace is the fear of God. But the fear of God is really the fear of loss of identity, of credibility, of meaning in the eyes of others, which the “rules of independence” state must be earned through the demonstration of a capacity to do things one can take credit for. The bottom line is that one resists letting that mind be in him which is also in me because one will never be able to take credit for anything ever again, and the fear of God saves one from that experience.
Special relationships are horizontal relationships, meaning that what is known has been arrived at through mutual agreements of organisms moving around on the surface of a planet, making observations, imagining meanings and concepts, and coming to the conclusion that their minds are simply the electrical synapses coursing through a hunk of meat in their skulls. Whereas, holy relationships are vertical relationships, meaning that the starting point is Mind, in which blades of grass, brotherhood, planets, moons, stars and all of Creation arise as Revelation, not as observation.
It as absolutely correct that engaging in the holy instant and joining with me or the Holy Spirit will not isolate you from the world or from everyone else. That is what special relationships do. The joining together of independent souls is the joining together of those separated from their Father, from That which truly identifies them—orphans, as I have called them.
But, as you are finding, the absence of that which separates, absolutely and unequivocally calls for involvement of an educational inspirational nature, without relief from having to be Meaningful, and giving voice to the Voice for Truth because there is nothing else you choose to be doing. But it requires you to make that choice because it’s the only right use of will and it is the Gift of Love.