Last night Paul and I had a conversation which I would like to share. It has to do with the dilemma everyone faces in the process of undoing and letting go of illusion in favor of the experience of Reality.
Paul asked, “What is going on? I am coming up with every reason under the sun not to talk to you. Why? And why am I especially resistant to letting everyone know there is a need?”
And this was my response.
Paul, the problem is that your primary focus — the place to which you are giving your attention — is on what others will think.
You caught it! The key word is “think.”
If thinking gets you into trouble, then thinking is getting everyone else into trouble, too, and the trouble they are creating for themselves certainly shouldn’t disturb you.
We are not addressing “thinkers.” We are addressing the Son or Daughter of God behind the façade of “a thinker.” And, what you must remember is that when we are joined, what comes out of your mouth is coming from the Son of God behind the “thinker” — the personality — which is sometimes misidentified as “Paul.”
When “thinkers” are involved with “thinkers,” it is worse than the “blind leading the blind.” It is the “clueless” misleading the “clueless.” And when you “think” about what others might “think” about you, and then become afraid, it isn’t even that others have misled you. You have been the “clueless” misleading yourself! It is ridiculous. And the fear is ridiculous. The state of mind you have created for yourself is . . . quite insane . . . and simply needs to be abandoned — which means there is nothing about it which justifies continuing to give it your attention . . . and reacting to it, as well.
When making the Gift, which is the expression of Love, you are fulfilling your Function. When you are fulfilling your Function, you are in an un-conflicted state. The state of Peace. The Peace from which Love flows. The Peace in which it matters not whether the Gift is received or abused, because no one else can actually validate or invalidate that which is without question, that which is pure, that which has not been distorted by motives or reasons.
When you make the Gift, do not continue to make the mistake of “completing” It, because when you do, you move out of the place of innocence. When you are not making the Gift, you are in an idle space. When you are not engaged in the act of Gifting, the emptiness invites you, tempts you, to engage in speculation. If you’re not engaged in Knowing, the only alternative is “speculation.” Be aware of that! Speculation is imagination, a foray into fantasy.
I realize that it is very difficult for you to break the habit of asking to know the Truth from me and then, after learning what It is, not return to your usual state of “contemplative” existence where, in the idle space of not-Knowing, you “consider” what the Meaning of everything might be — in other words, imagining, “making up,” meanings, as though there were no Meaning already.
Breaking the habit requires the discipline of desire, which means that you must arrive at the point where you want what Knowing holds, more than you want the “freedom” to think, speculate and fantasize. Another way of putting it is that you must arrive at a point where you want to be joined — consciously joined — with something other than yourself alone, because that is what will undo the Fall, the loss of innocence, and return you to your right Mind.
So, this means that you must be willing to shift your gods. You must stop revering your speculations, and you must stop revering your brother’s speculations . . . especially when they relate to you. You must abandon the whole arena of speculation, absolutely, completely, even though you are so totally familiar with it, and comfortable in it, and no one ever told you that it wasn’t valid.
No, a “sour grapes” attitude won’t cut it, either! Adjusting will! Being willing to change and wanting to, with commitment, is the only thing that will work.
“Desire is prayer.” It can’t be faked. Desire includes within itself everything necessary to its fulfillment. But if it isn’t felt, the “everything necessary to its fulfillment” will never see the light of day.
You are going to have to be alert to recognize the degree to which you are addicted to what others think, so that you can instantly correct your intent. Every time you bite your tongue, every time you are reluctant to share what I have to say or what the Holy Spirit illuminates to you, you have concrete evidence of your addiction to your false god — the fruit of which is bondage to stupidity, bondage to the ridiculous, and keeps you in the arena of fantasy, of delusion. It keeps you from speaking the Truth and experiencing the blessing of integrity which accompanies your no longer holding yourself apart from It.
You will also have to understand that acting on your desire will not make sense from the arena you are stepping out of — in other words, your present sense of “a normal state of mind.” It will only make sense as you take hold of the hand of One Who is not in that arena and let yourself be lifted out of it — lifted by your desire in concert with his intent for you to be back in your right Mind.
So, persist in bringing your attention to me or the Holy Spirit. Insist upon being joined — not isolated in the depths of despair or the heights of success. And no matter how foolish you feel, while looking at it from the “arena mentality” of independence and self-sufficiency, keep your attention fixed on deferring to God instead of the gods of speculation as expressed by you and your brothers.
What prompted this conversation is the fact that tomorrow is the 31st of October when property taxes in the amount of $7,163.42 are due, and there is literally nothing available in the Foundation’s bank account to cover it. That, coupled with $7,739 in unpaid bills for the month of October seemed fair justification for Paul to forget the focus of the last three Study Groups, which was:
“I do not know what anything, INCLUDING THIS, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now.” —ACIM
He concluded that he did know what it all meant, and it didn’t bode well for him. After all, he “ought to be doing well all by himself, without help, if he is in touch with me!” Of course, it was pure speculation on his part, and mean-spirited as well. And his assumption was that everyone else would speculate mean-spiritedly, too.
This is the way illusion is reinforced. This is the way redemption is foiled! Because foolish self-confidence, finds it demeaning to need! Finds it demeaning to have to defer to God. Finds it demeaning to have to say, “I do not know what anything, INCLUDING THIS, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now.”
It finds it demeaning to Listen to me or the Holy Spirit and hear that “Giving is the way Life works,” that “Love is reflected in love,” when that is not the way the world operates, and that success is when the embrace of caring meets the need, instead of independent manipulation, which leaves someone at a disadvantage in order for advantage to be had. That is the “arena mentality” — the arena of “speculation,” the absence of Knowing, the orphan state of mind which finds no love because independence does not allow for it!
The simple fact is that there is a need. In fact, there are several needs. Speculation says, “Are they legitimate?” “Does one deserve to have them met?” “Maybe if one doesn’t look at them, they will go away.” “They’re not real, so one need do nothing.” And in the busyness of the speculation there is no silence in which the answer to the need can naturally appear because that is what need transforms into in the presence of Love . . . in the presence of the desire to know the Truth.
It’s the way Life works.
And so, Paul spent some time in the not-Knowing place, purposely not-Knowing because he was actively thinking for himself and compounding the problem by assuming that those listening would be thinking for themselves. The result? There was no peace of mind. No invitation was extended. And needs were not met because no opportunity for caring was provided.
Once he understood what I was reminding him of in our conversation, peace returned, freeing him up to want to Listen, allowing for this invitation to be made, and for the need to be expressed without his interpreting it — through speculation — as an indictment of his incompetence. Need, looked at calmly and directly, with me or the Holy Spirit, yields to That which meets the need, putting no one and no thing at a disadvantage.
As a result, Paul can hear me say, and we can say together, the need is immediate . . . and why not? Fulfillment is, as well. And so, your help is once again invited to bring the vigor of giving — the expression of Love — back to life and begin to replace the competitive ethic of “commerce.”
The saying is that it is better to give than to receive, and it’s not just a nice spiritual platitude to wrap oneself up in to feel self-righteous or spiritual! It’s more profound than that . . . because getting is selfish, diminishing, exclusive, self-centered and Soul-less. Lacking Love, it diminishes Brotherhood and creates competition and fear, undermining one’s capacity to feel the Presence of God in his fellow man and inhibiting the redemption, healing and Atonement that can only come from engaging in the Gift of giving because one cares, and insists upon translating it into action!
It costs too much not to give,
because one forgets how to be
the Presence of Love.
We continue . . . with Love and appreciation . . . and thank everyone for their support. What we do is being done because we’re all doing it together!
October 30th, 2017
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