The Incredible Integrity of Being
[A Conversation between Paul and Raj]
PAUL: My sister was recently diagnosed with dementia in its advanced stages. She has become consumed with intense anger because I am not fulfilling her expectations—or, more correctly, meeting her wants on her terms . . . which are not your terms. As well, there is the biblical statement that “with God, all things are possible,” which suggests that no matter how abusive she becomes, if I will hang in there with her, joined with the Father in the holy instant, the situation will be corrected. My question is, as a teacher of God, how do I respond to her calls for help?
RAJ: Paul, what the ego can’t see and hear on its own and take credit for, it despises. It is called selective deafness because it excludes hearing God, and is an extreme form of willfulness. Do not be afraid to look at its thought system, else you will not recognize it and will be subject to taking it on as yours. What your sister is engaging in is the practice of the obstacles to peace—specifically the last obstacle, “the fear of God”—which she wants to project onto you since she sees you as being her special “Teacher of God” who is not meeting her needs. Since the ego prefers not to experience the effects of its thought system and needs a scapegoat to relieve it of feeling the return of the “gift” it is giving, you feel the impact of her anger in this aggressive manner, and you, thinking you can be responsible for her changing her mind, believe her anger is deserved and let it in.
What is the answer? Do not allow another’s practice of the fear of God be a cause for fearing to listen to me and sharing it with others. She wants an audience (you) to agree with her “justified” anger and join her in it, proving that a mind apart from God can be real and can be shared. That may be what she wants, but it cannot be done. You cannot let a so-called personality in you have empathy with a so-called personality in her and maintain your sanity or your union with me in the holy instant. And if you maintain your union with me or the Holy Spirit, you will not be subject to the pull, the negative impact, the temptation to be the willing guilty recipient of another’s wrath. It is that simple.
Now, let’s be clear on the following: The statement, “With God, all things are possible,” is true. But, the key word is “with.” And the “one” who needs to be “with” God in order to experience the possibility of all things is the one with the problem, the one who needs to allow correction. It is your sister who needs to be willing to be “with” God in order to experience healing. Likewise, it is you who needs to be willing to be with God in order to experience correction of whatever your issues are. But, your being with God does not and cannot give you power over the choices your sister or anyone else is making for themselves. It is essential to understand this, else you will labor under the false idea that you are failing when actually you’re simply trying, with all good intentions, to do what cannot be done.
Let me explain. If you think that practicing the holy instant puts you in a position of being an agent for change who is divinely authorized to “make things happen,” your fellow man will frustrate you, generate fear in you, and arouse unreasonable anger when you cannot control him and he does not change. It will also cause you to tolerate abuse because you are unaware of where the responsibility for correction lies. The fact is that the holy instant only puts you in the position of being an agent for change by illuminating Love in a way which clearly makes Its expression more important than anything else. And the “self” that might have had an agenda for his brother disappears in the presence of that movement of Love Which is inspiring and allowing for a new choice to be made . . . OR NOT!
The self which has investment in outcomes for any reason is not present in the holy instant. And the self which is joined with God in co-creation let’s God be all, forgetting to take even the slightest bit of credit in order to assert an independent righteous selfhood. This state of genuineness and humility promotes change maximally because the Love in it is not covered. And, because of the incredible integrity of Being, such absence of control and independent authority promotes Atonement without confusion for the one who appears to be the agent for change as well as the one who decides to change. In other words, the ego orientation which made the two seem different in the absence of Love loses meaning in the presence of Love and is abandoned, bringing the clarity of Atonement.
If this makes you feel powerless, accept the feeling with gratitude. It is the same for me. It is not a handicap, but part and parcel of the incredible integrity of Being. It simply means that instead of using coercion and force in the name of Love, one must, through the act of Love, initiate and persist in communication and education, illuminating Truth in the way the Holy Spirit leads and allowing a new choice to be made for reasons known only to the one so loved. You cannot dare to have an agenda for Truth or Love or Light without losing Them in the exercise of an imagined beneficent authority over a brother as a “healer,” or a duty which you must perform for the purpose of establishing your righteousness through a special relationship.
Be the Light because that is your Function.
It doesn’t matter whether another finds It invigorating
or withdraws into the shadows to hide from It.