The Incredible Integrity of Being

The Incredible Integrity of Being


[A Conversation between Paul and Raj]

PAUL: My sister was recently diagnosed with dementia in its advanced stages. She has become consumed with intense anger because I am not fulfilling her expectations—or, more correctly, meeting her wants on her terms . . . which are not your terms. As well, there is the biblical statement that “with God, all things are possible,” which suggests that no matter how abusive she becomes, if I will hang in there with her, joined with the Father in the holy instant, the situation will be corrected. My question is, as a teacher of God, how do I respond to her calls for help?

RAJ: Paul, what the ego can’t see and hear on its own and take credit for, it despises. It is called selective deafness because it excludes hearing God, and is an extreme form of willfulness. Do not be afraid to look at its thought system, else you will not recognize it and will be subject to taking it on as yours. What your sister is engaging in is the practice of the obstacles to peace—specifically the last obstacle, “the fear of God”—which she wants to project onto you since she sees you as being her special “Teacher of God” who is not meeting her needs. Since the ego prefers not to experience the effects of its thought system and needs a scapegoat to relieve it of feeling the return of the “gift” it is giving, you feel the impact of her anger in this aggressive manner, and you, thinking you can be responsible for her changing her mind, believe her anger is deserved and let it in.

What is the answer? Do not allow another’s practice of the fear of God be a cause for fearing to listen to me and sharing it with others. She wants an audience (you) to agree with her “justified” anger and join her in it, proving that a mind apart from God can be real and can be shared. That may be what she wants, but it cannot be done. You cannot let a so-called personality in you have empathy with a so-called personality in her and maintain your sanity or your union with me in the holy instant. And if you maintain your union with me or the Holy Spirit, you will not be subject to the pull, the negative impact, the temptation to be the willing guilty recipient of another’s wrath. It is that simple.

Now, let’s be clear on the following: The statement, “With God, all things are possible,” is true. But, the key word is “with.” And the “one” who needs to be “with” God in order to experience the possibility of all things is the one with the problem, the one who needs to allow correction. It is your sister who needs to be willing to be “with” God in order to experience healing. Likewise, it is you who needs to be willing to be with God in order to experience correction of whatever your issues are. But, your being with God does not and cannot give you power over the choices your sister or anyone else is making for themselves. It is essential to understand this, else you will labor under the false idea that you are failing when actually you’re simply trying, with all good intentions, to do what cannot be done.

Let me explain. If you think that practicing the holy instant puts you in a position of being an agent for change who is divinely authorized to “make things happen,” your fellow man will frustrate you, generate fear in you, and arouse unreasonable anger when you cannot control him and he does not change. It will also cause you to tolerate abuse because you are unaware of where the responsibility for correction lies. The fact is that the holy instant only puts you in the position of being an agent for change by illuminating Love in a way which clearly makes Its expression more important than anything else. And the “self” that might have had an agenda for his brother disappears in the presence of that movement of Love Which is inspiring and allowing for a new choice to be made . . . OR NOT!

The self which has investment in outcomes for any reason is not present in the holy instant. And the self which is joined with God in co-creation let’s God be all, forgetting to take even the slightest bit of credit in order to assert an independent righteous selfhood. This state of genuineness and humility promotes change maximally because the Love in it is not covered. And, because of the incredible integrity of Being, such absence of control and independent authority promotes Atonement without confusion for the one who appears to be the agent for change as well as the one who decides to change. In other words, the ego orientation which made the two seem different in the absence of Love loses meaning in the presence of Love and is abandoned, bringing the clarity of Atonement.

If this makes you feel powerless, accept the feeling with gratitude. It is the same for me. It is not a handicap, but part and parcel of the incredible integrity of Being. It simply means that instead of using coercion and force in the name of Love, one must, through the act of Love, initiate and persist in communication and education, illuminating Truth in the way the Holy Spirit leads and allowing a new choice to be made for reasons known only to the one so loved. You cannot dare to have an agenda for Truth or Love or Light without losing Them in the exercise of an imagined beneficent authority over a brother as a “healer,” or a duty which you must perform for the purpose of establishing your righteousness through a special relationship.

Be the Light because that is your Function.
It doesn’t matter whether another finds It invigorating
or withdraws into the shadows to hide from It.


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3 Responses to The Incredible Integrity of Being

  1. Lisa says:

    I am trying to absorb every word of this so I understand because I am at a loss with a situation right now. A woman I have known for 26 years is blaming and attacking me, trying to make me guilty for all of her own creations that is due to her alcoholism, passive agressiveness and manipulation, and she has been downright vicious toward me. I told her I could talk to her about it this past weekend but no… We’ll do it next weekend when the “pain will hopefully be less.” Sigh. She is a total victim, has been estranged from her kids and grandkids for over 12 years. She isolates and then comes out and attacks. She owns the property where I keep my beloved horse who is now 35! My horse, Little Miss, has been there the whole 26 years and I would hate to have to move her at this stage of the game because she loves her pasture and I’m afraid it would be too big of a change for her at this point. So I feel I am stuck… Having to deal with this woman’s victimhood and unwarranted attacks and I am trying to stay centered and “one with God” here, but I admit, I am struggling. I am not sure how and it has hugely depressed me for the last week. I know I have been pulled into her world in moments but trying to take the higher road. I am not sure I am understanding all you are saying, Raj, but want to understand. Any help or further explanation is welcome. Thank you for listening.

  2. binra says:

    This restates a key recognition; that we are responsible to our brother and not for them. As I choose for me, so will my brother be to me. If he or she chooses not to accept me as I am revealing to be, then that is the opportunity to become clearly consistent in my acceptance of revealed integrity that automatically shares itself to all involved, seeking no justification or apology for being with what is here as the relationship or situation as it unfolds.
    The conditioning of fear, rage and guilt is already active in so many particular patterns of reciprocal reinforcement. Recognising our part and then choosing not to use it, allows another choice from a balance within wholeness that communicates remember range of wholeness to the willingness of receiving – which will be in terms of their own fulfilment, not mine, for mine is not in the effect but as alignment with cause.

  3. Sabu says:

    Thank you Raj and Paul. Not the easiest thing to hear when I feel a change in my external circumstances will really help me right now, and I’m still having a lot of difficulty hearing the inner call as I will to yield but realise I have no idea what it yielding actually means for me. Life indeed seems very cruel at times and yet I know there is peace and well being within because I’ve experienced it. Sometimes the powerlessness I feel if I let myself feel the plight of the Syrian children brings me to my knees and I know I have no strength in my ego, the boundary seems not to be there or the bubble so flimsy, and I don’t know if I will survive it if I let go. There is my pull to death. I can see this, especially how its operating in myself in my middle age by creating problems. At least intellectually I can see how I need problems and project the cause to be out there to protect me from the perceived emptiness; but I cannot yet see how I’m causing them. Raj is right: “the ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst.” No one deserves to have an ego despite our choice to do so. I am aware there are some deep feelings hidden in the darkness that need to come out.

    I’ve been quite real with a few people and it felt right – on the beam – but it hasn’t gone down well. Perhaps bad timing on my part or I’m hooked into guilt?

    Its good to hear from you Paul. Its been a while. I’ve been wondering how you are and what your journey is really like for you at times, even though its very fulfilling.

    I am sorry to hear that your sister is going through this. Personally I think its very tough that we try as best we can to connect with Soul/God while at the same time unaware of how we sabotage it; or perhaps are aware of it and do it anyway because of fear.

    I’d like to thank you for your Guidance. My saving grace at the moment is my work, which enables me to practice being with others openly. I would never have consciously chosen it from the surface level.


    Sabu x

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